Creating a Culture of Forgiveness

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I am sure we can all do better at saying, “I am sorry, will you please forgive me”. I think my children have helped me most in getting better at it.  Too often parents and leaders won’t humble themselves and admit their fault.  But we all must. It is imperative.  Teams are made up of people, people who have relationships and relationships have; ups, downs, hurts and healings.  Never forget that the success of your project is 100% dependant upon the people!

It is part of the culture of our family to admit our mistakes. It has taken work to cultivate that culture. We created that culture both by direct coaching of our children but also by modeling. Sometimes my 8 year old daughter will look at me, hurt, and say, “Daddy, you need to say you’re sorry”, when I have been harsh or quick to judge (wrongly).  It is tough to be called-out by an 8 year old…who is right. Sometimes it takes me a minute to gain my composure. But I have to do it. Why? Because it is what I want her to learn, I want her to learn to say she is sorry when she is wrong, or when she has hurt someone else. So, I model it.

The other thing necessary is a culture of forgiving.  In our family we do not allow the response, “That’s ok.” when someone asks for forgiveness. Mostly because it isn’t true. It isn’t ok. you were hurt. It isn’t OK to hurt someone. What we say instead is, “I forgive you.”  This is a much more powerful response both to the person you are forgiving and for yourself. Try it, next time someone says they are sorry don’t respond with, “that’s OK.” Say instead, “I Forgive You.”

We need this culture on our projects too. So, be the first to model it.

That’s all for today


Joseph Flahiff

By | 2016-10-25T16:20:16+00:00 May 24th, 2012|agile, Basics, motivation, People, performance, teams|0 Comments

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